Cancel 2020

Tonight I would have been flying to the US to roadtrip from San Francisco to Portland with one of my close friends and then spend a few days in Austin for a much-anticipated conference. Along with thousands (millions?) of other people, events have been cancelled, fights have been refunded, and destinations are almost, if not already, in lockdown. Coronavirus has taken its toll on China, is taking down Europe and is working its way through the US. Australia is doubling in numbers of infected every 3-4 days, at this stage.

Matt and I both went to the gym last Monday, for the last time. We sent Mr12 to school camp with some trepidation, but confident that they wouldn’t be catching or spreading beyond their own small group while they were out in the bush. We’ve kept Mr16 at home this past week, but he’ll need to go back into school for a couple of assessment tests. At least, that was the notice from school yesterday. Things tend to change every day.

We’ve mostly been staying home since last Friday and have been through some challenging emotions and conversations with each other. Last weekend, I was grieving the loss of my travels. I’ve been angry with Matt for his black & white stance. I’ve cried for the businesses and people who will not survive this. I worry about my mother, by herself in Sydney. Some parts of the day feel normal, other parts feel ominous and radically changed forever. And more than I wish, the closing scene of the 2000 release of On the Beach replays in my memory: Rachel Ward and Bryan Brown watching the sunset from the beach as they lay together, possibly the last people on earth, dying from nuclear fallout.