I haven’t been in for a while. I’ve not known what to say as we had some sad news last week. It’s not my story to tell, but that of my best friend. Suffice to say, I’ve tried to do whatever I can to help. I wish I could do more and I hate that I can’t just drop by for a kindly visit or to be of practical assistance. Why hasn’t someone invented molecular transportation .. or translocation.. or whatever?!
I’m struggling to deal with it even as an outsider. I can’t put my finger on it exactly. I guess I feel like I don’t deserve to have the depth of emotion I’m experiencing because I’m an outsider. Gah! DOes that even make sense? Well, I don’t know and I frequently send my brain on feedback loops just thinking about it.

Onto more trivial events.

I didn’t get that job I went for.
They left a message on Wednesday which got me all excited, then finally called again on Thursday to say…

NO!?

Who gets a ‘no’ phone call? Jebus. They could have sent me a letter rather than make me deal with the rejection on the phone.

I did get feedback though. Elizabeth said they decided to hire someone with more arts focus. She said she noticed my resume had listed experience in radio and she was hoping I’d bring it up in the interview but I didn’t make that connection.

I must remember that mind-reading interview technique for next time.

I was pretty disappointed about it then but I’ve moved on.

On the TTC front we didn’t try very hard last month. I didn’t temp as I just wanted a break from it. I’ve started back up again but have found the new thermometer I have is giving wildly bizarre graphs compared to the old one. So I’m temping with both as a test and will see what I come out with at the end. According to Psychic Cousin I am due to get pregnant next month or the month after. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been in CBF mode.

I’m still visiting the naturopath regularly. I enjoy chatting with him as it’s a bit like cheap counselling. Last time we spoke he told me to replay scenarios in my head from when I’ve achieved something I wanted. Aparently it reprogrammes the brain into believing I can indeed achieve things. I try to do this as some form of meditation but I’ve ended up just dozing off.

I’ve had the urge to make another garden bed but I have still got loads of space in the existing one. I should continue with that before I start another.

Published by

Aprill Allen

Collector of my own bad drafts & excellent one-liners. Current painting student; Three-time B-Arts dropout.

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