Withdrawal

Long time, no post. I’ve had no internet for 3 days. I was beside myself. I’d like to say I rediscovered the outdoors or something grand like that but nothing of the sort. I did productive though. I went through a bunch of old Womens Weeklys and ripped out some pages i thought were worth keeping.. some decorating stuff for the new house, tasty looking recipes, stuff like that. But, I digress from the main topic of this blog.
Fraser has been good. The early mornings continue to be disrupted from about 4am onwards. I’ve tried tucking him tightly in a blanket to stop him from kicking around but he wriggled half way up the cot last night. So I seem to be getting about 3-4 hours of decent sleep per night and then grabbing what I can in the day. I must say, I’m looking forward to getting into the new house so he has his own room and he can do his noisy antics without waking me up..unless he cries of course. Can’t wait for my first 8 hours of proper sleep since halfway through my pregnancy.
The spit bubbles and drooling has started as has a penchant for squealing. It seems Fraser has discovered his voice and likes to play squeals with it at inopportune times like when I put him back to bed in the morning and I’m trying to get some extra sleep. The mothers group babies have been waking up and babbling away happily to themselves lately but Fraser seems to be anxious for someone to come and get him so he cries. He’s not always immediately hungry either so I dont know if it’s because I’ve always gone in and picked him up or tried to resettle him as soon as he cried rather than letting him try and entertain himself or go back to sleep.
Mothers group is going well. I’m really enjoying it and have started to meet one other mum outside of the regular group meets. An interesting range of talents in this group. A teacher, architect, exhibition stand builder, scientist etc.
Last week it occurred to me that I left work over 4 months ago and was feeling a bit wistful about it. I dont miss the actual work, or the concept of work..but I miss being a part of it all. Feeling quite out of the loop and missing the day to day validation of my (non-parenting) skillz. Definitely miss the gossip and office politics. I dont often hear from any of my colleagues except by group email and so I’m feeling like I was never really there. I exchanged these same thoughts with one of my colleagues over email the other night. She was quick to reassure me and remind my of my most important role of raising a human. It was an uplifting email and she is right about that. I said to her that the thing I feared most was being forgotten. My own human failing I’d say. Anyway, even if I was forgotten so easily it’s small potatos when I am Fraser’s whole world at the moment. His needing my help to eat, sleep and be happy puts things in perspective. Having said all that, I did catch up with my optus friends for a few drinks last night for my team leader’s birthday. Matt stayed home to listen out for Fraser.

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Aprill Allen

Collector of my own bad drafts & excellent one-liners. Current painting student; Three-time B-Arts dropout.

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