4 weeks on…

Fraser is 4 weeks old today, 1 month old tomorrow. Hard to believe I was pregnant a whole month ago. In some ways it feels like an eternity ago.

The question “what do I do with him now?” never really got answered but at least we’re all still alive at this point. So, we can’t be getting too much of it wrong. However, I do think I’ve got myself a case of nipple thrush. Hmm. Off to the Dr’s tomorrow I think, or at least the Chemist. If I can sort out this thrush then I do believe breastfeeding may indeed be largely painless. So far, it’s been like laying boobs down on a bed of nails for up to an hour every 3-4 hours. Most unpleasant..and it means I’m dreading each feed rather than enjoying the peace of it.
The crying isnt quite as constant as it was, and he is sleeping more than he did the first week or so that we were home. Unfortunately, Fraser isnt always co-operative when it comes to where he sleeps. If he won’t sleep in his bed, then it’s often ours, or the couch… or he drops off to sleep in my arms and wakes up once I put him to bed.
Despite my woes, he’s getting cuter each day and it’s not entirely unpleasant to see him comfortable enough in my arms to sleep there. I couldn’t say such a thing in the first week or so though. I was going stir crazy with the constant sound of Fraser’s crying, and battling with my new-found fear of everything to do with having this baby, that I just wanted him to be quiet like other babies seemed to be. I couldn’t talk to him then, I could only go through the motions of feeding, changing nappies, and trying to get him to sleep. I didn’t get those overwhelming feelings of instant love and adoration that people talk about. It seems to be a gradual process for me.
I’m pleased to say things have improved alot in the past week-and-a-bit though the sleep deprivation does kick in every now and then. Sleep deprivation and burning boobs dont make for a happy Aprill at 3 or 4 in the morning, or 6 or 7 am, for that matter.
So I can’t remember if I told you we succumbed to using a dummy on.. hmm.. I think it was day 2 home from hospital. Great inventions except that I think Fraser now associates it with sleep and cries whenever he spits it out. I can see myself getting out of bed several times a night to put it back in.
We’ve made a couple of short shopping trips together. Neither were particularly successful as he cried most of the time but at least we coped.
We have a bunch of appoinments this month – paediatrician, post-natal appt with Dr F, mothers group, early childhood weigh-in.. think that’s it.

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Aprill Allen

Collector of my own bad drafts & excellent one-liners. Current painting student; Three-time B-Arts dropout.

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