It’s March 2012 and I declared this year would be the year of speaking engagements. With one down and three more to go, I’m pretty pleased with how that plan is working out. My first ever speaking engagement was well received, made people laugh, and at least lived up to, if not exceeded, expectations. I had a lovely lady come up to me afterwards and thank me for my talk. She’d come especially for it, and I didn’t disappoint. So, I guess as a first-timer, I must have done something right. Though, I do need to work on not having to refer to my notes.

In the interests of helping other introverts to face these public speaking challenges, I thought I’d put my process here in this post.

How to speak in public like a pro. Almost.

1. Have coffee with someone who will make you commit to the seminar/conference/event in question. After they’ve nagged you about it for the tenth time in as many minutes, call or email the organiser/s of the event right in front of your coffee buddy. Now you have a witness.

2. Start preparing your material. I had 90 days to prepare, and I already had most of the material written as a white paper. I just had to turn it into slides and add some extra content to fill up the 30+ minutes time allowance.

3. Go to bed most nights with “success” or “confidence” or “public speaking” hypnotherapy apps playing in your headphones. Really.

4. Ideally, you will have been to a related event before, so you will already know people who will be there. If not, try and plan a social occasion with a few of them so you can have some friendly faces in the crowd when it’s time for you to present.

5. You will have Powerpoint open for around 80 days, continuously, and you will probably lay awake most nights having great ideas come to you for the content of your presentation. Accept it and leave those mental doors open.

6. Have a talented writer/educator friend check your slides for feedback.

7. Read books on how to give presentations and apply what you learn. Lend Me Your Ears is a good one.

8. Insert more jokes. This is dependent on your topic, I guess. But making people laugh is pretty important, especially when delivering a dry topic area, which is what seminars are typically full of. My Dad is my inspiration. He’s a bigger introvert than me, but he tells a fantastic story. Find the funny stories in your life that you could use to support your subject. Everybody has at least one.

9. Admit your insecurities to a few select fans and supporters. They will build you up.

10. Have coffee with someone who can give you some public speaking techniques.

11. Watch TED videos. Susan Cain is an introvert.

12. Rehearse. Some people say it’s better not to over-rehearse. As introverts, we need to know our material well to feel comfortable enough to share. For us, there is no over-rehearse. I felt better rehearsing to the cat, than to friends or family. I’m weird like that. I would rather deliver to a room full of mostly-strangers than to my loungeroom with my husband and kids.

13. Be like Barney. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what anyone else says, you just feel like you can’t pull this thing off. At times like these, you need to find your inner Barney—your inner Awesome. Believe you are awesome and others will think so, too.

Because you are awesome, and people want to hear what you have to say.

An innovator. A motivator.

The inspiration he provided my generation will live on in the ones that come after.

RIP Steve Jobs.

Here is a tribute from fellow Apple devotee John Birmingham.

In the last couple of years, since leaving indentured servitude behind, business has been encouraging. Friends and family have been supportive, clients have been positive. It’s been a slow burn, but that suits me fine. It might seem like all the the great stuff that has happened lately—landing new clients, accepting an award, and the resultant interest in the topic—has been a case of good luck and good timing.

I beg to differ.

Here are some airy-fairy tips for positive thinking and how I’ve had a lot to do with creating this outcome.

• I did Susannah Conway’s Unravelling eCourse a couple of years ago. This made me realise I had more to offer than what I was doing at the time. I learnt to acknowledge my dreams and motivate myself with them. I stopped defaulting to saying (or thinking) “No” when a contact approached me for some writing. I started saying “Yes”. And I still do it.
• I still suffer the anxiety after I hand over anything I’ve done and wait for feedback. I acknowledge it, know that I can review and refine anything, and then do my best to get on with the next thing I need to do.
• In life, I refuse to dwell on the negative. If someone says or does something unfriendly, I don’t over-analyse. If I feel it requires confronting, I’ll do it gently so that I can move on. I’m a firm believer that we can bring our own bad luck if that’s all we focus on.
• I recently started writing out the things that I wanted out of life on paper. Every night. It helps to solidify the swirling thoughts in my mind and maybe even puts it “out there in the Universe”.
• People often say “be authentic”. I’ve often thought they were wankers. But they’re right. I am the same person on Twitter as I am in the workplace, with friends, and with family. You’ll get good humour and my loyalty. I do what I can but I don’t promise the world. The only acting I do is pushing that little rockstar self out of my introvert exterior when the need arises. And that’s where I go back to what I learnt from Unravelling.

Take care. Watch Flickr or Facebook for European vacation pics.

After a bit of “what are you talking about?” and “Gala dinner? In Perth?”, I called the itSMF directly to make sure someone hadn’t slipped me a hallucinogenic, or worse, made a mistake. (Australia’s Next Top Model, anyone?) I ummed and ahhed about the expense of flying to Perth and finding accommodation (not to mention the associated conference ticket), before finally deciding to do it. Even if I was about to collect an award, I didn’t want someone accepting on my behalf. It would have seemed Oscar-esque. As though I was too high or drunk to make it to my own presentation.

Trans-continental junket, here I come.

I can’t tell you how glad I am that I went. Apart from the conference, where there was a great lot of useful info, I met some stellar individuals who were kind enough to give me career-related tips and advice; and who made me feel like one of the bunch, even though it was my first itSMF conference.

And then I really did win the award.

I performed a relevant standup comedy routine for my acceptance speech, which got some laughs. I’ve always wanted to write someone’s speech—Jed Bartlett’s State of the Union, to be exact—but I never expected to be making my own. What a ride. Since then, I’ve had offers of work coming left, right and centre. Be still, my burgeoning hat size.

Finally, I am famous. As long as I’m in a room full of IT Service Management nerds.

When it’s all boiled down, this blog is simply my legacy (and a chance to show off). Not a legacy of heartfelt honesty and unicorns, but mostly just the entertaining—occasionally exasperated, often mundane—parts of a memoir. By reading this blog, especially way back when my writing was a lot less polished, you will come to know much about me, but you won’t know everything. I haven’t treated this place as a journal. My innermost thoughts are still my innermost thoughts. I always strive to entertain, so the hard stuff and the sad is usually saved for in-person encounters. Want some deep and meaningful conversation from me? Have a coffee or a champagne with me and ask the big questions. I love to stay out late talking about all kinds of stuff. I just don’t like the next morning.

Do you blog your passion? Do you blog about nothing in particular? Do you have a question for me?

p.s. I asked Fraser the same questions that I asked Lincoln. I’ll put his interview up soon.